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Posts Tagged ‘owns’

Before you skip over this one, let me assure you: This isn’t another one of those posts about Jonathan Duhamel winning the World Series of Poker and taking home a ridiculously massive sum of $ 8,944,310. It’s not about how he outlasted 7,318 other international players to swipe the first place prize from the nearly $ 69 million prize pool (but here’s a photo of it anyway):

Nor is it a story about how the lucky Canuck will be able to escape the sticky fingered IRS who loves to take their slice of casino wins, lottery scores and other windfalls because he’s not an American citizen and therefore owes the government nothing.

No, I’m not going to go on and on about how Duhamel won the WSOP because that story is about as worn out as a Las Vegas call girl during the World Series of Poker.

Instead, I want to touch on something that I don’t think too many people are paying attention to.

There’s something in the water up in Canada. Those people (and full disclosure here, I am one of those people) are amazing at EVERYTHING.

EVERY-FREAKING-THING.

This year alone, Canada has really demonstrated that they can raise, stack and own their way to the top of every category in every industry – not just poker.

For starters, let’s look at the 2010 Winter Olympics.

Who took home more gold medals than anyone else? Canada. 14 golds. Sure, Canada didn’t walk away with the highest overall medal count (that title was taken by the United States), but let’s face it, people. Gold is the only color that matters. I don’t see people getting excited about John Racener or Joseph Cheong. Who? Oh my, how you forget so quickly. They finished second and third, respectively, in the Main Event of the WSOP.

But why would you remember? The front page of every poker media outlet on November 9^th wasn’t a shot of Racener draped in a US flag. It was of Duhamel, flanked by fellow Habs-jersey-donning Canadians.

Ok ok. So Canadians are amazing at poker. And sports. Surely that’s gotta be it, right?

Nope. We’re also ridiculously sexy as hell. Proof? Right here:

The other day, Ryan Reynolds was named Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine. Reynolds, the Hollywood actor who stars in the upcoming film The Green Lantern, hails from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

Canada owns, plain and simple. And if you think we’re just good at poker, sports and looking beautiful, well surprise – we’re ridiculously smart, too.

Canada gave the world Insulin (you’re welcome), the Blackberry, the wonderbra (you’re very, very welcome), the light bulb (you can’t play poker in the dark, so you’re welcome), the pacemaker, and most importantly, instant mashed potatoes (the official food of home poker games, obviously).

Anyway, I digress. Before I continue to lose focus writing this post, I recommend that you bookmark this and forward it to anyone who plays at UB. You’ll find a lot of Canadians on UB.com so if you see any maple syrup avatars, you know who to stay away from – or who to put in their place, depending on whether you agree or disagree with everything I’ve said.